November 17, 2007

Dokushin desu.. (part 1..)

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:54 pm by prabandana

When you go along with someone, or just have a chit-chat in a forum, what topic will you choose just to make the day warmer?? In indonesia, we will normally get into the family life as a topic, such as how many son he/she have, how their son is doing, etc..

But, from now on, i really promise my self not to take such topic in japan, since to date, its been 2 times for me spoiling all the atmosphere with these questions.. The first one happened when i had my first On Job Training in the company, where each day, i was rotated to each the laboratory my group have. That day, i had the 3G simulator with me and of course a laborant who is (in my opinion) a bit nerd and cold..he was about 40 for the first sight. Since i had to catch up with my report, i was still working when he said he will leave earlier and ask me if im OK.. I just said its OK, and added that since im still a single, i can freely go home every time (i meant, he also have family to share his time with). What a speechless me when he answered “watashimo dokushin da yo..” pointing his own nose, he said “im also a single ..!”..woow..

The second booms just happened this past few days when we went party for our new member.. i worked in a team that have three outsource members.. Actually i know them well since we have routine meeting every week, but i dont know further about their life. So it was good time to know them better. Two of them are above 40 i think, and the rest is still the same age with me.. Everything went very well, I managed to know them better (feel good to know that recently, i can get their party-mode full speed conversation).

Again, i took a stupid assumption from their age (an age for indonesian normally having 1-2 children).. I just ask the man how many children he has.. and bingo!! dejavu.. he answered “Dokushin desu..” (i’m single).. Wow!! Ah OK, i can still melt my speechlessness by asking the woman next to him. Hoping to get the different answer really dissapointed me when she said “boku mo dokushin desu” (im also single).. Upss.. double hit!! ha ha ha.. i just got a way out with a joke.. “Ah, good, so we don’t need to mind what time to leave the party ha ha..”

Yes, for japanese, its really a normal not to marry.. In my group with 12 member (only two are under 30), five are “still” single. From that five, four of them are already above 37, that make me think marriage is not even an issue for them to think about..

OK, just my advice, please think for another topic to get closer to japanese.. Not even a marriage, unless you get good “pre-assumption”

*dokushin = single

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15 Comments »

  1. neno said,

    hahaha… ja, mas dana wa itsu dokushin kara sotsugyou suru no? haha

  2. Oo' said,

    Ha ha ha

    Bagus ini Dan, terus bikin pengalaman menarik kayak gini
    tampilin juga kondisi di sana ya
    aku pengen pas perayaan musim panas, pesta kembang api
    sama pas sakura mekar

    Selamat berjuang meninggalkan status “dokushin”
    jangan sampe jadi Kekkon Dekinai Otoko (The Man who can’t get married)

  3. amir said,

    mereka bahagia g dan?

  4. prabandana said,

    @neno: haha.. itsu daroo??
    @ooks: ih ooks, request doang.. tulisin juga dong pengalaman kuliah s2..mana tahu ketularan..he3
    @amir: masih ada part 2, Mir.. (ntar klo ad mood lagi deh :p)

  5. Oo' said,

    Sorry
    untuk request ini kayaknya sulit
    daripada aku ntar kualat ngomongin Dosen (You know Who)
    di Blog

  6. dzaia-bs said,

    absent here…

    marriage… marriage… marriage…
    it looks like you can’t hardly wait for it…

  7. nico said,

    wakakaka
    thx for the story,jd pelajaran bagus 🙂
    cerita2 lagi yaaaa

  8. ericsonfp said,

    Dan, itu ceweknya jantan sekali, pake “boku..” Jangan2 cowok nyamar itu..

  9. ridwan said,

    saya jadi inget cerita bapak saya 11 tahun lalu(dulu kerja di restoran di kamakura tp skrg di gifu), temen kerjanya(nihonjin) yang seumuran(42an) ada yang belom nikah. Padahal, kakak tertua saya udah kuliah tahun pertama. hihihihii

    –salam kenal–

  10. adhy said,

    aku dulu juga gitu, sama, cuman bertanya2 dalam hati. tp setelah gak tahan, aku nanya ke orang lain. dan, bingo ! ya seperti yang kamu omongin itu. bahkan ada yg bilang gini “saya memang memutuskan untuk tidak berkeluarga”. hehe..

  11. prabandana said,

    @jaya: kok bisa ambil kesimpulan gitu? kita semua sama lah..:D
    @nico: bulan ape ke jepangnye lu nic?
    @ucok: emang agak “jantan” sih..
    @ridwan: salam kenal juga..
    @bro adhy: beberapa emang dah jadi pilihan mereka kok dhy.. Cuman beberapa emang karena cannot make it.. nah yg kedua ini yg bikin sungkan.

  12. qonita said,

    hmm..beda budaya ya dan..
    wah padahal kamu dah cukup lama disana..
    masih butuh adaptasi terus ya..
    tampak seru cerita mu disana..:D

  13. jesse said,

    I think Japan is interesting 🙂

    That’s the place where I don’t have to worry about not having a children. 🙂

    But maybe, we can ask them :
    “How many girls you’ve been involved with ?” 😉

  14. nien said,

    wah fenomena yang menarik ya,
    uhm… ngga apa2 lah mas pada kayak gitu,
    itung2 kendali populasi :p

  15. trisetyarso said,

    Assalamu`alaykum, Dana …

    Wah ternyata ada juga ya pekerja di Toshiba yang doyan nge-blog … ati-ati lho … blog nanti bisa jadi racun … contohnya saya nih yang udah keracunan … hahaha …

    By the way, anyway, busway … saya seneng banget baca tulisan ini; kamu udah antisipatif hal ini jauh-jauh hari.

    Biasanya orang yang baru menikmati masa-masa bulan madu di Jepang, selalu mengenyahkan pemikiran-pemikiran seperti ini; seolah benar-benar ingin lari dari masalah yang ada di Indonesia. Biasanya nanti, setelah puluhan tahun kemudian, orang seperti ini baru akan sadar, bahwa kelak suatu saat mereka akan kembali ke Indonesia; dan ketika itu barulah mereka sadar, bahwa kesempatan mulai tertutup .. dan ketika itulah terbuka pula mata bahwa mereka telah terlambat untuk memulai …

    Kalo saya sendiri, sebelum ke Jepang justru udah memulai bisnis kecil-kecilan; yaitu dibidang properti dan juga IT.

    (Kelak saya bakalan cerita, motivasi pribadi kenapa saya berbisnis)

    Bisnis itu adalah keniscayaan bagi setiap orang; sekalipun ia adalah seorang pekerja, kelak ia harus tahu ilmu berbisnis/ berwiraswasta.

    Lain kali lagi, bakalan saya terangkan mengenai hal ini … biar penasaran .. hehehehe

    ごめん なさい


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